Much ado about clothing? The sequel!
In my last column, I chastised Senator John Fetterman for his lack of appropriate attire when conducting the people’s business in the people’s capitol. No good deed, or good intent, goes unpunished. The very same day the column was released, I was visited by the clothing gods of retribution in the form of my gentleman friend. While disgusted by former President Clinton’s infamous finger-wagging, I have to concede there may be situations when such emphasis is justified. That Wednesday was one of those days for me. So, with a stern face and a wagging finger, I swear I had nothing to do with his color choices that day!
It started out like our normal non-Commissioners Court Wednesday with errands to run in B-CS. I opened the front door to my gentleman friend’s smiling face, only to recoil in horror at what he was wearing. The problem wasn’t necessarily his HABIT Men’s Belcoast Short Sleeve River Guide Fishing Shirt in Classic Green, it was what he wore under it. His neon chartreuse Nike Men’s Ready Dri-FIT Fitness Tank Top skewed the whole ensemble. To be honest, I expected him to glow in the dark.
I’ve never been so repelled by apparel before but this combination was the international incident of fashion faux pas. These two pieces of clothing could possibly have been fine by themselves or in combination with something else, but together? No, no, no, no, no! Not all colors on the color wheel play well together!
Intent on having my company for the day, he buttoned his outer shirt leaving only a hint of his fashion transgression peeking out below the collar and we went about our Wednesday business. At one of our stops, he did get a random compliment about his Classic Green shirt. Knowing what lie underneath, I ignored it but he flashed a quick smirk as if he’d been vindicated.
On our way back to Navasota, we decided to eat dinner at Le Petite Cochon. You’d think the owner or chef of a French restaurant would have some fashion sense. I mean Paris is the fashion capital of the world, for goodness’ sake! It’s the home of Coco Chanel and the ‘little black dress!’
You could say I was a little annoyed when the young male server complimented my gentleman friend’s Classic Green shirt. Afterall, it was starting to make me look like I didn’t know what I was talking about, but it went off the rails when the owner and chef, both in the entry way when we exited, started fawning over his shirt. This led to my friend ripping open his Classic Green Habit to expose that hideous neon chartreuse Nike undershirt complete with commentary on my reaction to it!
Even I underestimated the power of the male bond. The three were so into this charade that I half expected them to chest-bump, highfive and throw in a few attaboys. Obviously outnumbered, all I could do was roll my eyes and head for the car. Lucky for me but not so much for him, is that I was driving that day.
My gentleman friend and I have put that seamy, pardon the pun, fashion episode behind us. He looks back at it with a chuckle. I just look back. That being said, I can safely say that we have come to a mutual understanding – he understands that pairing those two shirts again means he will be pairing without me!
The column represents the thoughts and opinions of Connie Clements. Opinion columns are NOT the opinion of the Navasota Examiner.
Clements is a freelance reporter for the Navasota Examiner and an award-winning columnist.