Call Me Itchy Male

Having heard the call of the beach these past months, I recently made the trek down to South Padre Island – my first time ever going there. No doubt, those few hours I spent in the sun provided me with some much needed color onto an otherwise stark white canvas. But it also cost me about a week’s worth of itchy. To paraphrase a quote from Herman Melville’s famous novel, “As for me, I am tormented with an everlasting itch...” Now I know exactly what he meant.

The SPI community, situated as it is right on the gulf coast, had me hankering for some authentic, fresh seafood. Unfortunately, just visiting a fishing community does not necessarily translate into finding such a meal. In fact, I would say it was as elusive as trying to seek out the great white whale itself. The search for a seafood lunch involved no fewer than eight stops at various restaurants that had either been recommended or were suggested via phone apps. One restaurant was closed that day (a Tuesday). Another didn’t open for lunch, only for dinner. The more touristy of the locations had an impressive wait list of over an hour. An hour that would cut into my sunning time. Sorry, but I don’t think so.

My optimism was high for a “five-star” recommendation that turned out to be little more than a fish shack where the most common side dish was probably a serving of ptomaine. How it achieved a five-star status is beyond me. On and on it went, driving from stop to stop until eventually I decided to make do with an Italian lunch.

I had a similar experience during my last visit to New Orleans. New Orleans is my birthplace. I remember from when I lived there several restaurants that served up some great food. But now things are different. First, I lived there about a hundred years ago and things change over time. Second, Hurricane Katrina and other storms did a pretty good job of wrecking the restaurant landscape as I knew it. Those small momand-pop restaurants that I remember are all gone now.

My hotel was located near the New Orleans Convention Center. Trying to seek out some great Cajun food in the area, I walked the Quarter in search of a place that would serve up the good stuff. To make a long story short, I couldn’t find it and eventually decided to make do with an Ital ian lunch.

On the other hand, I found plenty of Mexican food options during my visit to Cozumel. However, the “Mexican” food was different. They served a plate of rice that appeared to be little more than white rice. I asked if I could have Spanish rice with my meal. That’s when I learned that what was served had indeed been authentic Spanish rice. Oops, my bad. The Tex-Mex that I have eaten all my life had influenced my expectations. In the end, while the food was pretty good, I think I just should’ve made do with an Italian lunch.

By the way, do you know what whales eat for lunch? Fish and ships.

Johnny McNally is Grimes County’s Best Dressed Businessman advocating for Grimes County and writes a bi-weekly column for the Navasota Examiner